Archive for September, 2008

Down, Boy, Down

Monday, September 29th, 2008

Wade. He had a dog named Ro. Ro was a very big dog-a male chocolate lab to be exact. A 95-pound male chocolate lab. 

Wade was trying to get in good with my roommates and I. He was developing a small crush on me, and he must have thought I was a dog lover. He brought Ro over one night to show-off his new tricks he learned at obedience school. 

Picture it. We’re all standing outside of my little apartment. Wade calls out to Ro to sit. Ro apparently heard something different though because instead of sitting, the dog stood up on his hind legs, slammed his front paws on my shoulders, knocked me down, and then fell on top of me. An slobbered all over me with that disgustingly enormous tongue of his. 

After I washed off the dog slobber and disinfected my brush burns from the cement, Wade totally tried to kiss me. 

He got totally dissed. Down, boy, down!

Main Tweeze

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

It was years ago, but I remember the day I met him like it was yesterday. His curly hair covering up his eyes, his laugh permeating the room, his face cleanly shaven so one could see he was always smiling.

I used to belong to a group at LSU that put on concerts. We were having a Battle of the Bands with local bands in the spotlight. His band was there competing. It was called Tweezer, as it was a Weezer cover band.

I was talking to one of my friends as we were standing by the sign in table and I said something to the effect of “Weezer’s my favorite band.” The curly haired ball of cuteness overheard and (mistakenly) over-excitedly said “We’re your favorite band!?!”

And although I wanting nothing more than to shower him complements so that he would keep talking to me, I can’t lie. Really. I’m horrible at it. So I replied, “I said Weezer was my favorite band.” We all laughed and then started talking about The Blue Album.

Ever since then we’ve been friends. And ever since then, I’ve always wanted him as my “Main Tweeze”. :)

Gothika vs Purple Rox

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

Back in college I used to work for the newspaper. And so did Jack. Jack was hot. Tall, dark hair, black glasses.  He had a hot little lip piercing. Loved music. He was so rad.

He also had a girlfriend. She was pale. Wore lots of dark clothes. Had black fingernails and piercings all over. And her hair. It was jet black. My guy friend B and I called her Gothika.

Jack and I would flirt a little, but not really. We were more goofy than flirty, I guess. 

One night, I was complaining to B about how much I just wanted to hang out with Jack and we came to the conclusion…

That I needed to dye my hair black. That was the only way he was going to notice me. So we went to the now torn down Wally World, bought jet black dye and dyed my hair. It would have been cool…

Had my hair not turned purple. And had he noticed it. He didn’t even as much as mention that it looked bad. I mean. Nothing. 

I did rock that purple hair though.

About a year or so later, we ‘dated’ for maybe two weeks. Then we decided to be adventurous and venture out to Red Star, to which neither of us had been. Karaoke with DJ Bird [props!]. Jack didn’t take well to Red Star and stopped seeing me after that. 

I guess I was gothic enough. Ah well.

Boo You!

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

I used to go hear my friend Ski play at Open Mic night at Mellow when that place used to be cool. He was good. He’d always, always win. One night, 2 of my girls were sitting at a table with Ski who humored us with stories while we ate dinner. 

About a few months earlier, I had just ended it with Gordon. Everyone knew how much of a jerk he was to me. He also frequented Mellow. Which was fine. I stayed on my side of the place and he stayed on his. 

But for some reason, while he was on his side of the place, he decided to phone me. Probably because I looked cute…and was sitting next to a handsome guitar player/singer. For some ungodly reason, Ski takes my phone out of my purse, looks at the caller i.d. and says, “Gordon! I thought you said you hated Gordon. Why is he calling you?”

Which would have been fine for him to say. Had Gordon’s best friend not walked up at the same time as Ski was saying this.

Ski got the look of death. And then had to still perform his open mic set.

Gordon and his friends boo-ed Ski the whole time. Loudly. Boys can be so cruel. As we were leaving, Gordon whistled at me, so I turned around, looked him dead in the eye, raised my right fist and flipped him off. Dramatically of course. Because you should never expect anything less.

Shrilla!

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

It’s a month away from Halloween, but there were loads of shrills last night. After we finished watching the football game last night, Will’s friends were heading over to a local dive. Wanting to get to know his friends, I was all about the idea. His friends are pretty rad as far as I know. I was sitting in the “church pew” with Marga, Mick, and Will and his boys having a fine time. 

This obnoxiously loud girl walks up and in her valley girl pitched voice is more than overly excited to see Will. I continue carrying on a conversation with Marga and Mick, though we find it impossible to concentrate because of the shrilling voice blasting from this girl’s mouth. So as I look over at the awkward exchange of gestures between Will and his friend, Shrilla’s hand motions successfully knocked over two freshly ordered bottles of beer. Right into my lap…and all over my bag that I bought in NYC. Sadface.

Trying to be a team player, I go to the restroom to wash off a bit. I hate bar restrooms. I’m sure it looked as if I had pissed all over myself because beer was running down my legs. I wash my arms and legs off, sit back down in the church pew and never really get an apology from Shrilla. Will apologized a bunch, but it really wasn’t his fault. 

I pick up where I left off with Marga and Mick in our conversation and they suggest walking over to another bar across the street because by that point, we had started comparing the girl’s voice to a miter saw and she just kept on talking…and talking…and talking. I wanted to leave the first bar 99.9% because my ear drums were bleeding and .1% because I was hoping the other dive had an automatic dryer that I could use so that I didn’t have to sit in a wet skirt and underwear for the rest of the night. I tell Will where we’re heading. He was going to hang out with his friends for a little while longer, which was cool.

Somewhere along the way, on the walk across the street, we pick up a guy named Rainwater, who Marga and I had met once before. [Sidenote: Rainwater is his real name.] As we’re waiting for Marga and Mick to catch up, Rainwater asks me what my full name is…which contains a name that is obviously from German decent (and not half as cool as Rainwater). He then precedes to ask me if I am Jewish. I’m not really sure if he was joking or not.

We make it across the street. We hung out for a bit; Will came finally to take me home.

What a night!

If I ever see Shrilla again, I will empty out the nearest beer bottle and shove it in her mouth. Though I’m sure a high pitch sound like that can break glass.

“It’s close To Midnight and Something Evil’s Lurking in The [bar].
Under The [neon] light, you See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart.
You Try To Scream, But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It.
You Start To Freeze, As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes,
You’re Paralyzed…This is Shrilla!”

It’s Always Sunny

Friday, September 19th, 2008

So I just got one of the sweetest messages from my long lost friend. Well, he’s semi lost. I hope he doesn’t mind me posting this:

“So last night I log onto facebook to find out that [my ex] is now in a relationship. WTF right? Right. Feeling like I could not have been screwed over more since I did move here for her, I proceed to drink my weight in beer. Now, the reason I am telling you this: I had the craziest dream about you! In the dream I woke up in the middle of the night (surprisingly sober) and there was a note beside my bed that read, 
“Everything will be OK. 
♥ [Cheeky]”

Then I go downstairs and you are there watching my favorite show, “It’s Always Sunny in Phili”. You said that you just felt like dropping by. Then when we left my apartment we walked to a place in ATL called Taco Mac! We did bunch of free Jager-bombs and drank Abita and had just a great time! Then, you, me, & Zack who showed up mid way I guess, started tailgating at an LSU Vs. USC game. Then all my friends showed up! Man it was a great dream. One of those dreams when you wake up and really wish you hadn’t. I even halfway looked for the note…

miss ya,
[Name to remain anonymous]

What is it with boys dreaming of me lately?!? Hahaha. At least in this one, I was doing 2 of my favorite things: 1. eating at a Mexican restaurant 2. watching “It’s always sunny”. My facebook status is related to “It’s Always Sunny…” right now…so maybe that’s why that was on your mind.

Regardless, it is always sunny when you’re around because your personality is beaming. It’s not just in Philadelphia, promise. The best advice that I have to offer is to delete that silly girl out of your phone, off your facebook, no myspace, lose the email- essentially delete her out of your life. Sounds harsh, but it works. You don’t need her incompetence taking up your time. It’s called tough love.

I’m giving you 48 hours to delete her from your facebook friends. I’m only giving you that long because I know you’re going see the Tigers play tomorrow. And I assume you’re on the road already. So 48 hours. 

And also, when you come back to the stick, whenever that may be, I want to go to 80s night. And dance. And, I could use help finishing up my condo- remodel kitchen and bathroom and finish painting.

When did I become so demanding, you wonder? When I took the same advice from a friend that I just offered to you (and the blog world).

It’s always sunny…and not just in Philadelphia!

P.S.- I wanna know how that taco place is.

What Are You Going To Wear?

Friday, September 19th, 2008

Girls are almost always little fashionistas at heart. As well, boys have always been on our minds. We always dress to impress. As I’ve gotten older and grown wiser, I dress so rad because it makes me feel good about myself. But back in the day, we only dressed to impress the boys…as noted in a note from my bff circa 6th grade, set on Lisa Frank stationery and all:

“Dear [Cheeky],

So hey how ya doing? I’m fine! What are you doing? Not much here, but I’m trying to decide what to wear tomorrow!!! Ya know, it is so hard to find something to where when you don’t know what to wear. Talk about a pain in the behind or what. [Here comes a little mis-wording] Well,  are you wearing Friday for free dress? I think I’m going to wer either my black or purple jean shorts with either my light jean sleeve-less shirt or my dark jean sleeve-less shirt.

Or I might wear something else if I don’t wear that! So what are you wearing to state in Baton Rouge? I don’t know what I am wearingyet! Oh! My gosh I gotta find out soon! Well all of ya’ll think I like Terry a whole lot. Well I do like him a whole lot, but not as much as ya’ll say I do. Remember when I told you I still like Britt. When I found out we were following him and Kelly to Baton Rouge I was so happy!!!!!!!!!!! Well don’t tell anyone I still like him or I will just die!!!!!

Well who do you like? (BJ right) and that kid that was on the bus. He was fine. Well Wednesday ya know how I left early after Spirit Day was over, I went home, and my mom told me to come to her school for a minute. And guess who I saw. Terry!!!! <3 !!! I was so happy!! Well I hope that the fair has good rides this year! Hey, let’s me and you and everybody else go to the fair together. (If you want!) Well, I’m going Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to the fair. But I’m leaving early Sunday night. Are you going to the sock-hop? I don’t know if I’m gonig yet. I heard they might not have their sock-hop anymore. I wonder if alot of people are going to it? (I hope some of the boys at the fair are fine! Don’t you?)

Well anyway, I gotta go because I have to go wash my hair. I have to do that. Well, bye for now!

YBFFAA,

Melissa”

I actually saw BJ (the guy in the letter whom I liked waaay back in the day) recently at my dad’s 60th birthday. And he was still so very fine.

 

the southern charm of the handwritten note

the southern charm of the handwritten note

Cute Picture

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

I met this guy in a bar one night. Through a mutual friend. For some reason, newbie was taking pictures of random people…I being one of them. I thought he was kind of cool, so when I saw him out the very next night, I was excited that he remembered a little bit about what we had talked about the previous night.

And then he throws into the conversation that he had a really cute picture of me from the night before. And he just so happened to have his camera with him. He busts out his digi cam, flips to the picture he’s referring to, and hands it over to me excitedly and says, “Look how cute you are in this picture.”

So I look.

It wasn’t me. It was a picture of another girl.

So my loud mouth exclaims- that’s not me! And he has the nerve to say it is- again. And I’m like…no, sorry, I wouldn’t wear that shirt that she has on if my life depended on it.

He did indeed have another picture…and it was of me. And I looked cute. Cute enough that he kept that picture on his camera the whole time we dated.

If Lucy Fell

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

My birthday this past year (the big 26) was so rad. The raddest birthday I think I’ve had ever. My friends, brother, sister and I played Laser Tag and then went to eat at my favorite Mexican place in Baton Rouge- El Rancho. Sidenote: That place is so delish.

Anyways, I get home from a really fun day and at my door is a present. The movie “If Lucy Fell” with a little yellow sticky note that said “Happy Birthday [Cheeky]“.

Random. I didn’t recognize the handwriting as it was in a Sharpie marker. It’s a very rare movie…with one of my favorite actresses- Sarah Jessica Parker…and it’s set in one of my favorite places- NYC. Very good movie as most of the important parts takes place on the Brooklyn Bridge, which for some reason, I am obsessed with. SJP has my proposal…on the bridge.

On to the rest of my story- To this day, I have absolutely no idea who left it. I like to think that it’s from someone who secretly wants to propose to me on the Brooklyn Bridge. I doubt it though. 

However, if you know anyone who leaves the movie “If Lucy Fell” on girls’ doorsteps, please let me know. And thank you to whoever left it…I really heart that movie.

Work of Art

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Back in college, where I was an art student, I was always up at crazy hours of the night, doing crazy art projects. 

One night, probably around 3 in the a.m., I needed to finish some work for a color theory class. Mixing colors, painting, and such. It was fun. Really. For some reason, my very cute guy friend whom I had a slight crush on, was up at this time as well, so I invited him to come over, keep me company, play the guitar a little and maybe…if he wanted…I told him he could paint.

So he comes over, we hang out, he plays guitar, I paint, he starts to paint a bit. It’s time for the sun to come up almost. He’s getting ready to leave. Then says in the cutest way possible, “I thought you said we’d be body painting.” 

What?!? Body paint…like he’d be painting my body? Sadly, no, I didn’t say that!