I wish I would have known about Kate Miller-Heidke before all of my exes requested to be my facebook friend. Instead of accepting, declining, or defriending…I just would have messaged them this url:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0g4GgewOV8&feature=related
Thanks, Raf 
I arrived home at 6:30 in the a.m. Monday morning. I drove in from New Orleans. As I pulled into my regular parking spot, I noticed the grate that leads to the crawl space under my above-the-ground apartment had been kicked in. And given that it’s been raining and there are many homeless people that have been lurking around my hood who are known to sleep under the buildings, I of course get nervous about having a homeless person sleeping under my apartment. To ease my qualms, I think to myself…Okay, how should I deal with this?
Then I recall that this is not the first time a homeless person has invaded my space…
A few years back, I was standing in the kitchen washing dishes, looking out the window admiring the golf course that had just reopened across the street. Dusty was asleep on the couch. Omar was in the back yard setting up the coals so we could grill dinner. As I stared dreamily out the window, a figure walked from the street, up our driveway, under the carport and into the backyard. I had never seen this person before, but thought maybe it was Dusty or Omar’s old friend or maybe a neighbor I had never met.
But I felt uneasy.
The lady was dressed kind of drabby…not that I have the best fashion sense, but her clothes were dirty and her hair was pretty scraggly.
I turn the water faucet off, dry my hands, and gently tapped Dusty on the shoulder to wake him. He wakes and asks what’s up. I couldn’t quite put into words what I thought was going on and I didn’t want to offend Dusty if this stranger were in fact one of his friends. So I said…”I just saw…I dunno…is that your friend [Omar] is…” and then I pointed out the window behind Dusty. As soon as he saw Omar talking to this person whom at this point I am fully certain does not belong in the backyard, Dusty jumps up and runs out the front door and starts to walk around to the backyard.
As he does that, Omar and Strange Lady are walking back to the front. Dusty questions what was going on. And Strange Lady replies, “I’ll be honest with ya, I’m positive. And I need money to take the bus to the clinic.” Noticing that her lips were a whitish color, Dusty told her that he didn’t have any money, but that he’d drive her over to the clinic. She refused a ride, but kept pressing for money. Finally Omar said, “We don’t have any money, but I can give you a Coke.”
She took the Coke and went on her merry way…right down the street where she stopped a mom with a van full of kids and asked them for money.
That night, Omar and Dusty gave me a lesson on how to tell if a person is a friend of theirs or not. And they got a good laugh after the fact about me thinking that was ‘a friend’.
So I took my brother to dinner for his birthday tonight. It was fun as always.
I told him how Zack wanted to invite all of the exes to our wedding. And he totally understood where I was coming from. Which makes me know I’m not crazy because my brother is one of the people that I trust most to tell me I’m being over dramatic…if I were in fact being over dramatic. Later into the conversation I was telling my bro that Zack has alot of friends that he wants to ask to stand in a wedding while I only have a handful. Greg suggested we ask Zack’s exes to be fill ins.
I really appreciate his sense of humor.
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